Carry the Load, Not the Weight: How to Stay Motivated When Life Hits You Hard
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Why That Quote Hits Hard (in the Best Way)
Let’s start with one of the most soul-stirring lines you’ll ever read:
“It’s not the load that breaks you down, it’s the way that you carry it.” - Lena Horne
That little gem captures so much of the struggle with self-improvement. It’s not just what challenges you face—it’s how you think about them, how you frame them, and how you handle them.
You can haul the same baggage a hundred different ways—some leave you collapsed on the floor, defeated, while others keep you upright and steady, ready to climb again.
Whether it’s stress from work, family obligations, personal setbacks, or just an unexpected series of unfortunate events, staying motivated in the middle of chaos can feel impossible.
Getting Real: Why Staying Motivated Is So Tricky
One of the biggest myths about motivation is that it’s supposed to be a constant. Spoiler alert: it’s not.
If anyone’s ever thought, “I used to be motivated… then life happened,” you’re in good company.
Again, that stress at work, emotional upheaval, unforeseen curveballs—these bump us off track more than we like to admit.
Imagine you’ve been crushing your self-improvement goals—journaling, meditating, saying “yes” to your dreams.
Then your car doesn’t start, your pet gets sick, your boss overloads you… And suddenly, all that momentum just screeches to a halt.
Motivation is like a snowball: let it roll downhill with structure, and it grows. Let it hit a patch, and it fizzles fast.
The Mindset Shift: Carry, Don’t Collapse
What if instead of letting obstacles drag you under, you adjust how you carry them?
That could mean reframing a breakdown as a breakthrough-in-disguise or treating stress as “proof that I’m showing up, that I care.”
Reframe your internal dialogue: Swap “ I can’t handle this” with “This is tough—but what’s the smallest next step I can take?”
Break it Down Into Bite-Sized Pieces: When life feels overwhelming, getting ahead can seem impossible.
Instead of focusing on the mountain, start with one small step.
Try this: If your goal is to write a book, don’t stress about finishing 50,000 words. Just aim for 500 words a day.
Reconnect with Your “Why”
When life gets hard, it’s easy to lose sight of why you started in the first place. Whether it’s your career, fitness journey, or personal growth goals, revisiting your “why” can reignite your drive.
It’s always a good idea to check in with yourself, especially your future self. To do so, Ask:
Why did I start this Journey?
What will happen if I give up now?
How will I feel when I overcome this Challenge?
Write down your answers and put them somewhere visible, on your mirror, phone wallpaper, or even the classic sticky note method on your laptop/monitor.
A daily reminder of your purpose can work wonders.
Grit: The Secret Ingredient
If you want a boost in motivation that actually lasts, let me introduce you to a modern classic: Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance by Angela Duckworth.
Sometimes, staying motivated requires fresh perspectives and new strategies. This book isn’t sunshine-and-rainbows fluff—it’s grounded in research.
Duckworth argues that who succeeds long-term isn’t always the most naturally talented, but those who relentlessly pursue their goals, even when it’s hard.
Her message? Consistent effort over time matters more than bursts of brilliance.
How it helps when you’re flailing:
It validates real efforts over overnight success.
It nudges you to keep grinding—even when motivation dips, your habits and vision keep going.
It normalizes setbacks as part of the journey, not signs you’re failing.
Actionable Strategies: How to Actually Keep Going
1.Create Micro-Wins every day
Motivation taps out when your to-do list looks like an Mt. Everest base camp. Micro-wins create momentum, and momentum fuels motivation. So build mini:
Tackle one small task-then celebrate it. Even if it’s “made my bed,” let that count. Who says you have to wait until the finish line to celebrate?
Treat yourself to the small wins along the way. Knowing you have something to look forward to can keep you motivated.
Log it. “Day 3 of carrying my mental load, and I made the bed—winning!”
2. Use “anchored habits”
Link a new motivation-strengthening habit to something you already do:
After brushing your teeth, journal one thing you’re proud of (good for habit-stacking).
After lunch, take 2 minutes to breathe deeply and remember your overarching goal, and connect the mundane to your purpose.
3. Find community energy
Have you ever noticed how being around negative people drains your energy? On the flip side, surrounding yourself with positive, motivated people can lift your spirits and keep you going.
Surround Yourself with Positivity.
Actionable Tip:
Follow inspiring content on social media (and unfollow anything that drains your energy).
Join a community of like-minded people.
Listen to motivational podcasts or audiobooks.
A workout buddy or even an accountability partner you text with.
Positivity is contagious; make sure you are catching the right vibe.
4. Visual Reminders
Pin images or quotes around your space—like “carry the load, not the weight.”
Write the Lena Horne quote on a sticky note next to your coffee machine.
Stick a picture of the Chapters of Growth Reading Journal next to your desk (we’ll talk about it more soon!).
5. Change Your Environment
Sometimes, the problem isn’t you, it’s your environment. A cluttered space, constant distractions, or even as simple as the wrong playlist can kill your motivation.
Try switching things up.
Quick Fixes:
Clean and declutter your workspace.
Change locations, try working at a cafè or a park.
Switch up your playlist; energetic music can boost motivation.
Small environmental changes can make a huge difference.
6. Focus on What You Can Control
One thing is for sure: Life throws curveballs. While you can’t always control what happens, you can control your reaction.
Instead of dwelling on the negatives, focus on what’s within your power. Instead of saying, “Why is this happening to me?” try asking, “What can I do about this?”
Shifting your mindset can boost motivation and build resilience.
7. Practice Self-Compassion
Let’s keep it real, we are often our own worst critics. When things don’t go as planned, it’s easy to fall into the trap of self-blame.
Here’s the truth: setbacks are part of the journey. Please be kinder to yourself, and if you don’t quite yet know how, here are some ways to help you get started.
Talk to yourself the way you would talk to a friend.
Acknowledge your efforts, even if the results aren’t perfect.
Take breaks when needed, rest is productive, too!
Being kind to yourself fuels motivation rather than draining it.
8. Get Moving
Exercise isn’t just for physical health; it’s a powerful tool for mental resilience. Moving your body releases endorphins (a.k.a happiness hormones), reduces stress, and boosts motivation.
Simple ways to get moving:
Take a 10-minute walk outside.
Do a quick home workout or yoga session.
Dance around to your favorite song.
Even small bursts of activity can shift your energy and improve your mindset.
Real-Life Roller Coaster Example
Let’s say you decided your goal is to wake up early and write for 30 minutes. Things are going smoothly—then your dog wakes you at 4 a.m. and you’re exhausted by noon. Motivation vanishes.
“Carry, don’t collapse” strategies for that scenario:
Reframe: “I‘m tired but still here—writing for just 5 minutes counts.”
Micro-win: Write a sentence. Hug your dog. Still counts.
Habit anchor: Next time you get up, journal instead of writing—something low-pressure.
Gratitude: Include a mini-journal moment: “I’m thankful I even tried.”
Visual clue: The sight of your planner or your reading journal reminds you why you’re doing this in the first place.
Your Digital Best Friends: Tools to Fuel That Carrying Power
Because motivation loves a little external support, here are two digital companions designed to help you carry life’s weight more gracefully:
The “Chapters of Growth Reading Journal”
What it does: Helps you track insights, breakthroughs, and actionable wisdom from every book you read.
Why it matters: When you’re feeling stuck, flipping through your growth journal can light a fire—you literally see how far you’ve come.
How it fits: Use it to distill big ideas into small, actionable steps—right on those days when life feels like it’s giving you more than you can handle.
Use it to bridge the gap between inspiration and action, making sure that what you learn actually transforms your life.
“God. Goals. Grind. Goal-Setting Planner”
What it is: A planner that blends spiritual reflection(“God”), big-picture goal clarity (“Goals), and daily motivated action (“Grind”).
Why it matters: Because when life throws curveballs, reconnecting with your “why”, your “vision”, and your “routine” is powerful.
How to use it: On rough days, do two minutes in the “God” section to remind yourself of your bigger purpose, your “goal”, then jot one tiny “grind” action.
Your Actionable Roadmap
Reframe the Load
What to do: Identify one thought that’s weighing you down; reword it more kindly
Why it helps: Lightens the mental burden
Break Into Micro Wins
What to do: Pick one tiny doable task (5-10min)
Why it helps: Helps momentum accumulate
Habit-Stack
What to do: Anchor it to something you already do
Why it helps: Builds consistency with minimal friction
Track Insights
What to do: Use your Chapters of Growth Reading Journal to log a learning
Why it helps: External validation progress
Align Purpose
What to do: Spend 5 minutes in your God.Goals.Grind. Goal-Setting Planner
Why it helps: Reminds you why you started
Celebrate & Repeat
What to do: Seriously, celebrate—even “got out of bed” is an achievement
Why it helps: Because dopamine loves acknowledgment!
Remember: Tough Times Don’t Last, But Tough People Do
When life gets hard, remind yourself that this is only a season and that seasons are temporary. You’ve faced challenges before, and you’ve made it through.
This time is no different. Keep pushing, stay focused, and trust that your hard work will pay off.
Bonus Tip: Laughing at the absurdity of it all can save your day. (“Here I am, crying over spilled coffee…. again. Motivated? Actually, yes, to refill and clean up.”)
Humor releases tension and gives perspective: you’re human, but also ridiculously resilient.
Do the best You Can!
So if life is giving you a marathon of lemons, don’t just make lemonade—learn to carry your lemon-load like a champ. Keep the Lena Horne quote handy.
Combine micro-wins, habit anchors, a gritty mindset, and your supportive planners.
Let those tools remind you: you’re not only handling life—you’re shaping your story.
Ready to stop letting life throw you off your game?
Grab your digital copy of the Chapters of Growth Reading Journal to track your breakthroughs and build motivation that lasts.
Complement it with the God.Goals.Grind. Goal-Setting Planner to align your spirit, ambition, and daily action—because tough days need more than willpower; they need a plan.
Carry wisely. Carry well. And remember: how you carry the weight matters as much as the weight itself.
Now, take a deep breath, shake off the doubts, and keep going.
You’ve got this!
“ You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.”
- Maya Angelou
